Cheese!

Because we live with (and love) SmallDaughter, we have a mostly dairy free household. And no, it isn’t the lactose (thank you for asking), it’s the milk proteins, specifically casein, but some of the others, too, that cause problems. Apparently lots of non- and less- verbal people have problems with it. We just try not to have any in the house because she LOVES it, craves it, finds it and eats it with abandon (she can easily eat a pint of sour cream, a stick of butter AND a block of cream cheese in one sitting--not kidding).

Anyway, that being said, it explains my families unholy adoration of all things dairy—why LargeBoy stuns his scout leaders with his ability to chug chocolate milk, why BigGirl asked for a pint of cottage cheese for her birthday—and why I am sitting around with a Post Christmas, Brie-induced grin on my face!

I LOVE Brie. I am not certain whether I love the creamy, buttery inside best or the lovely, crusty outside. I just know my loving sister gave me Brie and Dark Chocolate in my Christmas gift, and I am a very happy girl. Albeit, getting fatter every second.

Trials

Sometimes the crises in the lives of those you love happen in a nice, tidy order (crisis, resolution, next crisis...) but often, they seem to happen all at once. While my computer has been out of whack, I have been blindsided by two painful tragedies.

One is the much beloved oldest son of my dear friends. In a completely stupid, tragic loss, this amazing pile of potential chose to fall into the spiralling, gaping pit of terminal selfishness, and wasted a life that had the promise of changing the world.

Instead of choosing to use his gifts and his tremendous talents, he squandered them, and died as yet another pathetic, nameless, faceless number on a police blotter in a far away city. There was nothing redeeming in his death, except that those he left mourning behind him know that there are no more grenades of his stupidity left to shatter their hearts even further.

It is possible to die of selfishness and stupidity, and the problem with the selfishness vortex is the way that it blinds those who fall for it's glittering attractions (the siren call of "me, Me, ME"!) to the pain and piles of crap that their choices fling in ever increasing circles out onto those who love them.

But not all pain comes from stupidity. Some just comes from mortality.

The other trial is in the life of somebody who is so @#$%^& close to perfect, you would HATE her if she wasn't so genuinely sweet and good, and...well, perfect.

She is my cousin, younger than I am. I watched her grow her whole life--from her long and anxiously awaited birth all through her growing up. She did great in school--both socially and academically. She was loving and excellent, and we were all overjoyed when she dated wisely and responsibly, and chose a handsome, smart (balance of perfection, even!) returned missionary young man to marry. They had three wild and crazy little boys (exactly the right kind of wild and crazy) while her husband completed law school at a prestigious school close enough that they could visit a few times.

They graduated, and moved across the country, back to where they were close to grandparents and family. He got a great job, in a good city. Life was excellent(the kind of excellent that comes as the mom of 3 boys under the age of 6).

And then...
Surprise!

They found out the good news and the bad news:
She is pregnant (Yay!) with a GIRL (YAY!) in the spring, near Easter.
AND.
Her handsome husband was diagnosed with Testicular Cancer.

Yeah. Whoa.

Time to stop and think for a bit--and then, get back up and keep living, because you really only have 2 choices, and the other one stinks!

Computer Problems

I am having spontaneous computer crashing issues, so the blogs are few and far between. Just in case things are not resolved, I wanted to send my wishes for a Christmas filled with the love of those around you, as well as loved ones far away, and that we can be grateful for the amazing blessings we already have. I really don't need any more.

Life goes on

Isn't it wonderful? Broken hearts heal, miracles happen, babies are born. I don't ignore the bad things in life, but I really appreciate the good things. This cold and frosty morning after I fed the chickens, I looked up, and there in the overcast sky were beautiful jet trails. I love to think of all those people traveling--going exciting places. I love to fly, especially when you take off on a grey, miserable morning, and then suddenly break through the cloud layer to amazing sun and blue clear skies. I am grateful for the long awaited appearance of a certain beautiful young lady (Phoebe Pearl, 8 lbs, 12 oz.--exactly what BigGirl weighed!).

Songs for the Broken Hearted

When I was in college, I took a music appreciation class (I find it very ironic how often I use the things I learned in "filler" classes, and how seldom I use the things from my required classes!).

We learned about several studies that have shown that when you are feeling a strong emotion (joy, anger, grief), you should listen to music that matches your emotion.

While that seems like a "duh" statement, it isn't. People have a tendency, when they (or someone else) are experiencing a "negative" emotion like sorrow or anger, to put on cheerful music--which has the result of really ticking them off!

If you want to be in a better mood, first listen to music that matches, then, very gradually work your way (musically) to more cheerful songs.

So, for the one I love, whose heart is broken, I am adding a playlist of heartbroken songs. It cheers up at the end. I know you will get through this--but it won't be fun (it never is!).