My Mom.
Also, my
grandmas.
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Showing posts with label Grandma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grandma. Show all posts
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Mothering 101--tips from an expert
I was raised by wise women. Our society doesn't particularly value wisdom, (youth and ignorance are prized, and wisdom and experience are overlooked and dismissed) but I was blessed to have true wisdom in my life.
My dear aunt once told me the best parenting advice she had came from 2 sources: My mother (her older sister, who had 11 well loved children) and my Grammy (their mom who had 10 well loved children). She said the emotionally wise things came from Grammy, and the rationally wise things came from mom (who took parenting classes, and read voraciously--choosing what she felt was the best and truest, most useful wisdom and tossing the rest).
Here is some of my Grammy's advice--the things that she left to be shared at her funeral.
JOYCE’S COUNSEL TO HER DESCENDANTS
*Parenting and grand-parenting are their own reward.
*Seek guidance from prayer.
*When your child, grandchild, or anyone comes to you with serious worries and feelings of failure: LISTEN – LISTEN – LISTEN! Avoid giving advice like the plague.
*Sit near them, say, “This is hard, but you can do hard things.”
*They may feel worthless – you know they are not. They may feel not lovable – you know they are. They may feel they lack courage – you know they’re brave.
*Remember the healing power of touch. Draw near, wipe away tears, pat their hand, rub their back, and give a hug. Let them feel the strength and faith that Heavenly Father will always bless and guide through prayer. Let them know you have faith in them and their prayers. Let them know that the Savior is watching over them by day and by night and loves them always no matter what. But most of all pray with them and for them.
A poem my grammy had saved (which describes her perfectly)
She had a way with children,
She molded them like clay.
She found the greatness in them, and
She nurtured it each day.
Our trip to Idaho for Grammy's funeral was physically rather uncomfortable--I have never been good at sleeping in the car. However, the love and joy that was gathered together to celebrate the life of a remarkable woman made it worthwhile--and, as an added bonus, I love getting to spend time with my family, and I loved being with my dad & 2 sisters. LOTS of stories were shared!
When you drive across the country in January, you know you will be crossing your fingers all the way for good weather. We were very blessed--although we had 30 mile an hour winds all the way across Kansas and most of Missouri, and the blowing snow was NOT pleasant to drive in, the wind did keep it from sticking to the road. That means that although visibility was reduced, the roads were bare and dry.
One fun note--at a late night potty stop (in Colorado, I think!)the restroom door was postitioned in such a way that there was a pretty good sized snowdrift (a foot across, 18 inches long & 3 inches deep) that had blown into the ladies room, under the door. While we were waiting, we made a tiny little snowman, with emery board arms and dog treat face, and left him sitting in the corner by the door (where the wind would keep him cold). It was fabulously funny. I guess you had to be there! Just more proof that life is about the journey, not just the destination!
My dear aunt once told me the best parenting advice she had came from 2 sources: My mother (her older sister, who had 11 well loved children) and my Grammy (their mom who had 10 well loved children). She said the emotionally wise things came from Grammy, and the rationally wise things came from mom (who took parenting classes, and read voraciously--choosing what she felt was the best and truest, most useful wisdom and tossing the rest).
Here is some of my Grammy's advice--the things that she left to be shared at her funeral.
JOYCE’S COUNSEL TO HER DESCENDANTS
*Parenting and grand-parenting are their own reward.
*Seek guidance from prayer.
*When your child, grandchild, or anyone comes to you with serious worries and feelings of failure: LISTEN – LISTEN – LISTEN! Avoid giving advice like the plague.
*Sit near them, say, “This is hard, but you can do hard things.”
*They may feel worthless – you know they are not. They may feel not lovable – you know they are. They may feel they lack courage – you know they’re brave.
*Remember the healing power of touch. Draw near, wipe away tears, pat their hand, rub their back, and give a hug. Let them feel the strength and faith that Heavenly Father will always bless and guide through prayer. Let them know you have faith in them and their prayers. Let them know that the Savior is watching over them by day and by night and loves them always no matter what. But most of all pray with them and for them.
A poem my grammy had saved (which describes her perfectly)
She had a way with children,
She molded them like clay.
She found the greatness in them, and
She nurtured it each day.
Our trip to Idaho for Grammy's funeral was physically rather uncomfortable--I have never been good at sleeping in the car. However, the love and joy that was gathered together to celebrate the life of a remarkable woman made it worthwhile--and, as an added bonus, I love getting to spend time with my family, and I loved being with my dad & 2 sisters. LOTS of stories were shared!
When you drive across the country in January, you know you will be crossing your fingers all the way for good weather. We were very blessed--although we had 30 mile an hour winds all the way across Kansas and most of Missouri, and the blowing snow was NOT pleasant to drive in, the wind did keep it from sticking to the road. That means that although visibility was reduced, the roads were bare and dry.
One fun note--at a late night potty stop (in Colorado, I think!)the restroom door was postitioned in such a way that there was a pretty good sized snowdrift (a foot across, 18 inches long & 3 inches deep) that had blown into the ladies room, under the door. While we were waiting, we made a tiny little snowman, with emery board arms and dog treat face, and left him sitting in the corner by the door (where the wind would keep him cold). It was fabulously funny. I guess you had to be there! Just more proof that life is about the journey, not just the destination!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Goodbye, Cookie Grandma
It seems very strange to think of the world without my Grammy in it. I have had plenty of losses in my life--people I love, people who have been tremendously important in my life, but thinking of the world without Grandma Nelson is more like trying to think of the world without oceans, or without the color red. Much too big to comprehend.
Joyce Nelson Furniss, Oct 18th 1920--Dec 31st 2009.
Such a lot of lives are contained within that sentence. Joyce was the exact middle child--three older brothers, three younger brothers. She became the mother of 10 children, 9 of whom lived to maturity. All of them married nice people, and had some lovely children--a total of 45. FORTY-FIVE grandchildren.
Yes, she knew all their names. And middle names. And birthdays, and favorite stuff, and secrets, and how to kiss their owies better, and much, much more!
I am one of the older grandchildren. Actually, I am more of the "second wave". I wasn't old enough to be one of the "big cousins" for a very long time! My oldest cousin, Mike, is six months older than my youngest Aunt, Shanan (this happens surprisingly often in big families). They are about 8 years older than I am, which is a pretty hefty lead in the "being a big kid" stakes--although nothing like the lead I have on the youngest cousin Issac, who was born when I was 27.
The big cousins were remarkably slow on the "settling down and getting married" front, which means that my oldest child (BigGirl) is one of the oldest of the great-grandkids. In fact, they were so slow, that the last of them got married (for the first time) in 2009--and had his 40th birthday on his honeymoon.
However, Grammy FINALLY got some great-grandchildren. And, like compound interest, a little trickle at the beginning has turned into quite the tidal wave. 65 great grandchildren (more or less, I could have missed a couple!) With at least 3 more on the way, due this year.
Grammy spent her last week the way she preferred to spend all of her time--surrounded by family and lots of babies and toddlers. I am sure she sang them the "Grey Kitty Song" and I am jealous of that. Maybe they even got "Keemo-Keimo-Daimey-Wah"--lucky little skunks!
Grammy was one of the most truly selfless people in the world. We all learned great lessons about true love and service from her example. Even when we were terrible-two-year-olds or truly aweful fourteen year olds, we knew we were loved, completely and utterly by our Grammy--no conditions, no questions asked.
A great example of how to be a strong, loving, competent woman!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Eternal Woman
This picture is of my Grandmother. I love it both for the inherent beauty of the picture, but also for the way it showcases her life in one perfect image. It shows her love for her family, for the land, for beauty and growing things and for the mountains that gave a backdrop to her life.
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