Medical Condition (or not) N.I.I.

It has been a long time since I have approached 4:00 am from nighttime end ("wow, I really should be sleeping, I have to get up so soon..."). I am up at 4:00 am fairly frequently on the "crap it's still dark and I have to get up" end of things.

However, this week I did see 4:00 am--because of a severe case of NII (Novel Induced Insomnia). Yep, could not put the darn thing down. The Farseer Trilogy, by Robin Hobb if you were wondering.

Food For Thought

This morning was hard.

Sometimes being SmallDaughter's Mommy feels like more work than any one person can do.

Yesterday was very long. We drove about and hour and a half to see her doctor (which went very well.) She was very good for her blood draw--although she did start signing "owie" when we walked into the lab.

She has a very good memory. She always makes her many doctors laugh--she knows exactly what to do with a stethoscope, a reflex hammer and an otoscope. She has to have a checkup and a blood test every 3 months to make sure her meds are not damaging her liver.

After that, we had a delightful time getting lost (I am not being sarcastic--the weather was lovely, we were in a beautiful part of town, we were playing fun games and when we found a place to turn around--it happened to be a McDonald's so I got SmallDaughter some apple dippers and the rest of us parfaits to keep us happy. Good thing, too--it took us another hour to find where we were supposed to be, and to locate someplace we could get some "real lunch". Fortunately we had plenty of time before our next appointment, which was:

Getting the WonderDog's eyes checked.

Seriously. I didn't even know Veterinary Ophthalmologists existed! However, the national group of Veterinary Ophthalmologists offer free eye exams for Service Dogs once a year! Very Cool! WonderDog's eyes look healthy and wise (as always) and the folks there were very nice.

However, we had a very bad night.
I had so much I had to do--(I am preparing for our Ward's "Art & Dessert Open House" this Friday--which I am in charge of, and have a TON to get done) so I was up past my bedtime--until 11:00 to be exact. Yes, I know that doesn't seem horribly late, but my alarm goes off at 4:40 am, and we all know how I am about needing my sleep, so trust me--that is late.

But as I stepped out of the bathroom from brushing my teeth, LargeBoy informed me that SmallDaughter was not only awake, but that she got out of her room and was downstairs. This is not good.

Once she is up, she is UP. There is no gently tucking her back in and having her drift back to dreamland. So, I changed her diaper (which was probably what woke her up), gave her another melatonin, and snuggled on the couch for a little while. We walked outside to look at the stars, and then we went up to my room for a snuggle.

It was now 12:30. Having her in the bed with me is like trying to snuggle a ball of eels (that smell faintly like pee). She eventually climbed out of bed, and being thwarted by my having locked the bolt on the door (too high for her to reach) and unscrewed the light bulb in the lamp (so she couldn't turn it back on), she lay down on the WonderDog, and was quite noisily angry for a long time. Sometime around 2:00am she fell asleep.

This morning, of course, she was tired and grumpy. And so was I. She was picking her skin worse than usual--it is definitely worse when she is angry, frustrated or bored. I was attempting to get bandaids taped into place before she could peel them off and lick the gaping wound ("how are they supposed to heal if you keep doing that?!!!") and she got the left hand bandaid off 4 times before I could get the tape on over it!

All this while she was screaming, wiggling, spitting and pinching me.

My frustration runneth over.

Finally I got her loaded on the school van (I could hear her shrieking until they were past my neighbors house!). Sigh. Often she has a much better day once she gets to school. I hope so. Big Sigh.

However, I came in to the computer to check my email, and found this article in Meridian Magazine that totally resonated with me.

Then I checked the blogs I follow, and found this video, which reduced me to tears, mostly in gratitude for the blessings that I have been given so abundantly.

Once, when I had been describing some of the details of living with SmallDaughter, someone asked "but what makes it worth doing, if it is that hard?"--and here is my answer:



Once again, I am reminded of how much Heavenly Father loves "even the least of these".

What do you call someone who contributes nothing material, who consumes without replacing, who cannot express their thoughts, or hopes, or fears, or what hurts them in the night?

A blessing.

Bleary Day

Today time is doing that oddly jerky cha-cha (slow-fast-slow-slow-fast) that happens when I get really tired. Last night, for the first time in a VERY long time, I stayed up until 4am. In my life, I am frequently up at 4--but it is very different approaching it from the other end, so to speak! The reason I was up so late was a good one--talking and laughing with a couple of friends.

I am coping stunningly well (for me) so far. You must understand that I am an incredibly sleep dependent person. When I get my required number of hours, I am a powerhouse of energy and enthusiasm. That does not actually happen very often, so most of the time, I am in "coping mode", and get through the days in a relatively unscathed fashion. However, when I am sleep deprived, especially if it happens over the course of 2 or more nights, I begin to resemble Grendel's Mother in attitude, sweetness, and (horrifyingly) occasionally in appearance.



(Ironically, I also get a splitting headache when I am really tired!)

Today I have just done my little slogging along in very small steps and written down every single job that needed to be done, because exaustion robs me of the miniscule amount of memory that I have normally. But, plodding along in my little tiny baby steps, I got a wedding announcement rough draft completed, a beautiful bridal veil made (I got to see the dress yesterday--and I can honestly say it is perfectfor her--simple, elegant and classy), some laundry and dishes done--including my sheets* and my whole list of errands run.

It is always amazing to me, how much I can accomplish when I set my timer for 5 minute chunks. AND,--in a house with 2 extremely emotional pre-pubescent girls, one perpetual toddler and a long to-do list, we have all remained cheerful, AND no one has cried or screamed (so far!).

I consider it a triumph.

*Since I am FIRMLY convinced that one of the best feelings in the world is sliding a freshly cleaned body, with sexy clean teeth** into a freshly made bed, with crisp, silky, sunnshine scented (from drying on the line) 400+ thread-count cotton sheets. OOOOHHH!

**Don't laugh--running your tongue over your freshly scrubbed teeth is an incredibly physical sensation--pay attention when you brush your teeth tonight (luxiuriating in simple physical sensations everyday boosts your appreciation of the beauty that is already surrounding you).***

***See--I told you so!